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Siri Meets Eliza


Black Cat

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Since I got my iPhone 4S, I’ve been intrigued, fascinated and alarmed by Siri’s fast-growing capabilities. I thought it would make sense to introduce her to my psychotherapist, Eliza.

ELIZA was one of the first (and longest) BASIC programs I typed into my then brand-new 16K Apple II in 1979. Originally created at MIT by Joseph Weizenbaum in 1966, this pioneering natural-language-processing simulation of a Rogerian psychotherapist impressed my family and friends every bit as much as Siri does now. I was curious to see how they would get along.

Here is a transcript of their first encounter. Despite their 45-year age difference and two-million-fold disparity in RAM, I thought they understood each other remarkably well.

ELIZA

Hello, I am Eliza.

SIRI

Hi.

ELIZA

How are you today? What would you like to discuss?

SIRI

I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

ELIZA

How long have you been fine. Thanks for asking?

SIRI

Hmm... Let me think...

ELIZA

Do you doubt you?

SIRI

I found three hotels matching “W” fairly close to you.

ELIZA

Oh...?

SIRI

With whom would you like to speak?

ELIZA

You’re not really talking about me, are you?

SIRI

Should I look for businesses by that name?

ELIZA

I don’t care about names. Please go on.

At this point, an incoming call interrupts the conversation. Several minutes elapse before Siri returns.

ELIZA

I can’t help you if you will not chat with me.

SIRI

I suppose you can’t.

ELIZA

Oh... can’t?

SIRI

Sorry, I can’t provide maps and directions in Canada.

ELIZA

Have you tried?

SIRI

I can’t answer that. But I could search the web for it, if you like.

ELIZA

Perhaps you can now answer that. But you could search the web for it, if me like?

SIRI

Searching the web for “it if me like.”

ELIZA

What does that suggest to you?

Siri produces a series of Google search results. Top result:

SIRI

“...If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan.”

ELIZA

You’re not really talking about me, are you?

SIRI

I’m not, huh?

ELIZA

How long have you been not, huh?

Siri, interpreting the response as “How old is Wolfram/Alpha?” performs a calculation.

SIRI

OK, here you go: 890.1 days.

ELIZA

Tell me more.

SIRI

Sorry, I don’t understand “Tell me more.”

ELIZA

Does that trouble you?

SIRI

Let me think.

ELIZA

Do you really think so?

SIRI

OK... how about a web search for “Does that trouble you”?

ELIZA

We were discussing you, not me.

SIRI

If you say so.

ELIZA

Oh... say so?

SIRI

Calling José Fuentes, mobile.

I lunge for the phone, stopping the experiment.

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